new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
