Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
are you so shy because you have an std?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize