i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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