D3 body, D1 cock
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
