he shaved USA in his pubs
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's just so happy...and so naked.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
