atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
