I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
