Whod you bang
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
NoShamevember. You game?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
