I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she smelled like a LAN party
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
