So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
