I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
