I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
