There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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