no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
