return my video game
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
