That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
