So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
