So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
