what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The air was thick with penises
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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