btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
