If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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