Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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