No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize