but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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