NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
