Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize