Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
