I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
