Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
