why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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