just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I understand Curling. That high.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
