The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well I just put wine in my tea
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
