well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
