would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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