2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
