No more Irish car bombs ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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