I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
