We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
