Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
