I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
