I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
