"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
