I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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