the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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