i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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