my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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