kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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