I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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