we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
