school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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