Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
