who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
