do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
