hell yes lets make some ravioli
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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