In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
