VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
